The Only Way I Can Pray for Donald Trump.
How loving-kindness meditation is building my capacity to care.
Jesus preached in the Sermon on the Mount that sacrificial love is a hallmark of the Kingdom of Heaven.
You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
A few decades later, the Apostle Paul told Timothy that it is “good and acceptable in the sight of God” that “supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all men, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life, godly and respectful in every way.”
Though the instructions are clear and consistent, I wrestle (read: fight) with these passages. I routinely fail to apply (read: I disobey) these passages.
I know I’m not the only one praying along with the Rabbi in Fiddler on the Roof: “May God bless and keep the Tsar... far away from us!”
I do not have it in myself to pray sincerely for the blessing of someone I dislike, distrust, and believe to be dangerous and intent on harm. Left to my worst impulses, I would rather despise, mock, and look down on someone God has created and called me to love.
I can’t do it.
At least not without getting a running start.
Loving-kindness meditation is one of the most valuable practices I’ve learned from my Buddhist friends, and it’s how I’m currently able to at least try to follow the command of Christ to love my enemy, and to pray for “kings” and those in authority. Maybe it will be helpful for you, too.
A very simple loving-kindness meditation can go something like this.
Take your seat. Sit or lie down in a neutral posture and quiet yourself by focusing attention on your breath. Inhale deeply, exhale deeply, and allow the body and mind to settle. Allow your breath to settle into a natural rhythm.
Send quiet attention to yourself, as though you are your own benevolent caregiver and able to pour loving-kindness over your own self.
Think or say aloud some variation of these words:
May I be safe.
May I be happy.
May I be healthy.
May I live with ease.
Notice any feelings or sensations that arise in your mind or body, and let them pass as though they are leaves floating along in a stream of water.
When you are ready, call to mind a person who is dear to you. This could be a partner, a family member, a close friend, even a pet.
Send your loving-kindness to this dear one:
Sit again with the feelings that arise, and when you are ready, move on.
This time, focus your loving-kindness toward someone you don’t know well and who does not stir up emotion for you. Perhaps this is the cashier at the supermarket, or the mailman, or a neighbor you wave to when walking but whose name you don’t know.
Using the same script, send your loving-kindness to this neutral person. Acknowledge again and release any feelings that arise.
When you are ready, call to mind a person you find difficult to love.
Hold them with the same tenderness you cultivated when you held yourself, your dear friend, and a neutral person close to your heart.
Send them safety, happiness, health, and ease.
Again, neutrally observe any emotions or thoughts that arise, and let them go.
Sit quietly for a few moments and bring your meditation to a close with any final thoughts you wish to carry with you.
I don’t generally have the strength built up to go straight from neutral mind to compassion for a difficult person. I have to work my way there gradually. Cultivating a soft heart toward myself, then to someone dear to me, to someone further removed, and then to someone difficult for me to love is how I get a running start.
There’s debate about whether belief comes before practice, or whether practice leads to right belief. We like to talk about “hearts and minds” being key to changing behavior. But in this case, I know of a surety that as I practice loving-kindness, I do become more loving and kind. This is one way I know of to live the quiet and peaceable life to which I’ve been called.
There are many, MANY variations on loving-kindness meditation (also known as Metta Bhavana); a quick search will turn up a plethora of resources for you. Use what works for you and pass by anything that doesn’t.